Mountain Wookies Smoke Shop Closes Due To Lack Of Stoners In Woodland Park
Once located in a small plaza alongside highway 24, Mountain Wookies closed its doors on September 6th. While there is a store in Cañon City still open, this location held a special place in many people’s hearts. Nestled alongside Highway 24 off Midland Avenue, it was a convenient stop for tourists and Coloradoans alike. With friendly chill staff and unique items from around the world, it would be a shame to never have visited.
The pandemic, shutdowns, and mandates have resulted in many businesses in Woodland Park closing. However, this location closed due to something else: A Lack Of Stoners.
Woodland Park is notorious for having a rate of consumption of the Devils Cabbage much lower than the states average. A lack of the woven hoodie and headband-wearing population resulted in the closure of our beloved Mountain Wookies. It is speculated if more of the population consumed Hippy Lettuce the smoke shop would still be in business.
The now-closed Mountain Wookies sold pipes, glassware, and various other smoking accessories. They also sold hats, knives, swords, decor from around the world, and spiritual stones.
While there are numerous smoke shops in Colorado Springs, there is far from anything like them now in Woodland Park. Some cheered the closing of the business, but we didn’t really care to interview them as they were really cantankerous. Our journalist interviewed several past patrons but they came back with bloodshot eyes, had forgotten their notes, and couldn’t remember who they interviewed or what they said.
For those that prefer to consume the Giggle Bush from glassware, there is still Smokers Friendly in the Safeway Plaza. For the folks that partake of concentrated Jazz Cabbage, they’ll be happy to know Mountain Vapor is still open on 104 E Midland Ave and sells vapes and some glassware. And for the particularly crafty individuals smoking Electric Lettuce, well, go by Woodland Hardware and pick up material to make your own smokeware from wood, stone, metal, etc.
SINNERS!
It’s the will of Jesus that made them close their doors! Woodland Park is a Sanctuary for the spiritually clean, and you can’t be clean if you smoke dope.
There is only one way to heaven, and theeres not any weed growing along that path.
REpENT SINNERS!
God created cannabis, and you of all people are a fool for forsaking his creation.
The devil put cannabis on the earth to tempt and inspire sin. If you went to church more often you’d know that.
Scripture says all things in moderation. Less you not judge your brothers and sisters and remove that plank from your eye. For as you cast out sins of others as they have a religious right to holistic healing. I have served honorably in the military and I’m a grateful believer in Christ.
Hi there,
This is Jon Meyer, owner of Mountain Wookies. We were still making plenty of money and were the #1 small business in Woodland for years (sales tax revenue). We could and would of stayed open for years but unfortunately the town has changed. There are almost no rental properties left after Charis bought pretty much all of the available houses in town to house their students. The other former rentals are now VRBO’s. Single bedroom apartments are $1200 bucks. I am a classic liberal by definition, fiscally conservative and fairly knowledgeable about the world. So I’ve decided to move my store to Colorado Springs where it will make me WAY more money, and we welcome our awesome customers to come there when it opens in the spring. I love Woodland, but it has always been a challenge. The old police chief and old guard of WP had a personal vendetta against us and he tried his best to entrap us for selling pot when we opened…fail. We never sold pot. Now CBD we do sell and MILLIONS of God loving Christians use it. Plenty smoke pot too including Womack’s kid (the one with the implanted devil horns covered in tatoos, not sure if he is a follower of the good book) so careful where you throw shade. As a classic liberal I don’t judge. I am also aware that quite of few of Charis’ students are recovering METH addicts. Did you know we NEVER sold meth or crack pipes…EVER?!!! Yet we are labeled as an addiction store by the holier than thou crowd. Weed is non addictive, hundreds if not thousands of studies to back that up. So back to leaving the WP. I want to open a huge store and there was no available real estate that fit that bill in WP, even in Manitou Springs or in Old Colorado City proper. You freaks that insult me and my biz don’t realize I have the nicest selection of knives in Southern Colorado, do you? Awesome gemstones from around the planet? Didn’t think so. So, you’ve judged a book by its cover and from heresay(you know I’m right). Guess what, the town will suffer the loss of Mountain Wookies. We have been a destination for thousands of people nationwide, yes nationwide…read the google reviews that say we are the coolest shop many people have EVER BEEN TO in all of the US. Those people come to the WP just for us, as well as a bunch of folks from El Paso county that have no other business in Woodland. That is your city’s tax base going away, and Charis is a non-profit and pays NO SALES TAX OR PROPERTY TAX to help offset the loss. So run your mouth about me being a SINNER. I have no arrests in 20+ years and the only 2 I ever had were for misdemeanor pot possession. No speeding tickets or traffic violations in 20 years too. So label me what you want, but in reality I’m the good guy and you are casting judgement. Good luck with that.
Sincerely,
The Wook
Amen Brother!
Our chruch preaches the absolute truth of the lord our GOD, and we do NOT TOLERATE MARIJUANA IN WOODLAND PARK.
Practically no one from WP wanted your “church” in WP to begin with. Womack came in despite that, and I’ll bet if you asked most people would agree that Charis’ presence has overall been worse for the town.
I’m just gonna take a wild guess that by your church you mean Charis. Well, practically no one from WP wanted your “church” in WP to begin with. Womack came in despite that, and I bet most people if you asked them would agree that Charis’ presence has been worse overall for the town.
Your a moron.
The teller tribune should honestly be ashamed of this article. The writer has absolutely zero talent for story telling and wouldn’t know the truth if it bit them in the ass.
The fact that the story was written in this light is atrocious and disgusting. Whoever this is needs to be fired for defamation. Who knows, maybe I’ll decide to lead that one myself.
Seriously, you have know idea how many people use cannabis for medication. I hope your sewer system backs up in your house and you get shit water for being so holier than thou that you would wish for anyone to be out of work and out of business. You obviously have no clue what the real problem is in Teller County.
The real problem in teller county is atheists and potheads and liberals too afraid to do what needs to be done.
There is still time to repent or leave.
Scripture says all things in moderation. Less you not judge your brothers and sisters and remove that plank from your eye. For as you cast out sins of others as they have a religious right to holistic healing. I have served honorably in the military and I’m a grateful believer in Christ.