Famous for being a historical mining town in the Rocky Mountains, Cripple Creek, Colorado, is usually the epitome of calm and tranquility. However, this peaceful scenery was shattered last night when a local resident, Ernest Pritchard, 54, tangoed with a bouncer of “Monocles and Moustaches,” the illustrious gentlemen’s club situatedContinue Reading
In an unusual turn of events, townsfolk from Cripple Creek and Victor have been rearing their heads skyward recently, like an overambitious team of turkey vulturers. They reported spotting a series of strange lights overhead. Fleeting and dazzling like a prom queen’s tiara, it instilled a sense of mysticism overContinue Reading
Cripple Creek, known for its historical ties to mining and modern day reputation as a casino destination, is grabbing headlines once again. The local establishment, Shady Tail Inn, is currently under scrutiny for allegations of providing fermented apples to donkeys in anticipation of the annual Donkey Derby. Incidents of malpracticeContinue Reading
Colorado Springs Found To Have Worst Drivers In The Nation In a completely unsurprising study by Merkel-Vikkershime, Colorado Springs was found to have the worst drivers in the nation – and every single one of them was from Texas or California. As it turns out, 88% of accidents are causedContinue Reading
Go To Church You Heathen Recent reports indicate you’ve not been attending church. It starts shortly. Go on, stop reading and start getting ready. Oh, you’re going to keep reading eh? Well then, we’re gonna hit you with some weird verses from Revelations until you decide to go to service.Continue Reading
Teller County Introduces Monthly “Booster By Mail” Program In an effort to ensure all citizens are following government mandates, there is a new subscription service in town! The “Booster By Mail” program is available and mandatory for all Teller County Residents. This service provides vaccine injection boosters to everyone inContinue Reading
Woodland Park Police Issued Vaccine Dart-Rifles The Woodland Park Police Department has a new set of tools for tackling Covid. 12 high-powered air rifles – officially known as “Projectors” – are in the hands of our community police. Funded by the new Biden initiative “Target The Unvaccinated” these Hakwell ProjectorsContinue Reading
Teller County Votes Against Bribing People To Get Vaccinated In an odd turn of events, Teller County will not be bribing its residents to take the Covid-19 vaccine. Instead, they will be doing something many oppose – allowing people to exercise personal freedom of choice. It turns out that theContinue Reading
How To Build Your Child Their Own Full Body Anti-Covid Suit For School Children are going back to school, and as we know Teller County isn’t enforcing enough mandates upon it’s residents. For instance, in Denver you can be jailed for 5 years for not wearing a mask while driving.Continue Reading
Affordable Homes For Rent In Woodland Park There Are None Continue Reading
