In an unexpected turn of events that blends nostalgia with innovation, the U.S. Department of Transportation has announced the re-introduction of Zeppelins as a sustainable and fitness-oriented mode of mass transportation. Dubbed the “Eco-Zeppelin Initiative,” these modern airships will be lifted by hydrogen gas and propelled forward by the pedalContinue Reading
In an audacious bid to catapult the United States into the future of green transportation, the Department of Transport has revealed plans for the Grand Trebuchet Network (GTN) – a series of medieval siege engines designed to fling commuters across cities, over mountains, and into their workplace parking lots withContinue Reading
In an unusual turn of events, townsfolk from Cripple Creek and Victor have been rearing their heads skyward recently, like an overambitious team of turkey vulturers. They reported spotting a series of strange lights overhead. Fleeting and dazzling like a prom queen’s tiara, it instilled a sense of mysticism overContinue Reading
Colorado Adds 24 Foot Wide “Swift Trucks Only” Lanes The Mile High State seems the have some mile high ideas about preventing traffic accidents. Govenor Polis introduced the “Swift Safety Measure” last week to provide a dedicated 24 foot wide lane for Swift Drivers. These lanes are lines with recycledContinue Reading
Colorado Springs Found To Have Worst Drivers In The Nation In a completely unsurprising study by Merkel-Vikkershime, Colorado Springs was found to have the worst drivers in the nation – and every single one of them was from Texas or California. As it turns out, 88% of accidents are causedContinue Reading
How To Build Your Child Their Own Full Body Anti-Covid Suit For School Children are going back to school, and as we know Teller County isn’t enforcing enough mandates upon it’s residents. For instance, in Denver you can be jailed for 5 years for not wearing a mask while driving.Continue Reading
Colorado Springs mayor reacts U.S. Space Command moving to Alabama “We have maintained throughout the process that the permanent basing decision for U.S. Space Command was not made on merit. The admission by former President Trump that he ‘single-handedly’ directed the move to Huntsville, Alabama, supports our position. Our localContinue Reading
Colorado Senator John Hickenlooper Tests Positive For COVID-19 Colorado Sen. John Hickenlooper has tested positive for COVID-19 despite being vaccinated 8 times. He was the third U.S. Senator to announce on Thursday breakthrough COVID-19 infections. Hickenlooper joins Senate colleagues Republican Roger Wicker of Mississippi and Independent Sen. Angus King ofContinue Reading
RIP: How Woodland Park plans to expand cemetery space with Corpse Compression Woodland Park’s cemetery is running out of room quickly – but, using modern technology, the City is working to create more space while preserving the integrity of this historical property. This involves using a patented process of compressingContinue Reading
Two of Denver’s methods of handling the unhoused are criticized: disintegration and trebuchets Lawsuit filed over the molecular disentigration of the homeless, while nonprofit survey of homeless shows trebuchets don’t connect them to help but rather the ground very quickly, but very far away. Just as city officials were hearingContinue Reading
