Every Deer Related Accident In Woodland Park Caused By You Feeding Deer That One Time Two Months Ago
After an extensive investigation into the increasing number of deer found dead on the roadside, the conclusion is in. It turns out that neither local forestation issues, rutting season, or natural reasons are the cause. Instead, it’s you.
Studies show that you fed a deer inadvertently three weeks ago when you dropped a french fry from your McDonalds bag on your way into your house. While you live nowhere near the highway, the deer have instinctively determined it’s your main route into and out of town and started gathering in large groups awaiting you.
Studies show that deer are able to track your vehicle’s location for over two months after you have fed them. In addition, a single piece of food can attract hundreds of deer to stand around your local major highway. All of this while also retaining the ability to avoid your local smaller roads.
It’s all because of you. I hope you’re happy with yourself.