Biden Administration to expatriate all Military Working Dogs left in Afghanistan

The Biden Administration announced Tuesday evening that “the President was deeply saddened by the public backlash of his decision to leave working dogs in Afghanistan, and has decided to expatriate these animals so they will no longer be US citizens.”.

While many were critical of the Presidents and Pentagon’s decision to leave the dogs in-country, some news outlets such as CNN rated the action as “an astounding idea”. The Biden Administration stated they will be making an announcement to clarify that being expatriates means they would no longer be Americans and everyone can simply forget about it.

“To better ensure the safety of the animals while they’re still technically Americans we’re going to go ahead and drone bomb another few dozen non-combatant civilian children. Maybe that’ll teach them or something” Biden stated in a press conference when asked about FEMA activities in New York.

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